Sunday, August 30, 2009
my own enemy
This felt like a long week, which is saying a lot considering my leave on Monday. Did nothing impressive/interesting/memorable this week, which is to say this week was like many other weeks in which I've been wasting my youth. Had trouble sleeping on many nights - the banging cupboards, the blinding lights, the thunderous conversations, the actual thunders, and the missing window pane creating a space for rainwater to gush onto my slumbering body - and that's after downing one pill of melatonin every night. Came to the conclusion that I have intense feelings of animosity against more people than I'd like to admit, and guilt for saying things about others that I ought to have kept within me. Thought about things like a kid, and then realised that things aren't actually so complicated and forgot all about it after I slept. Been wanting to spill out things but realised there really isn't any suitable candidate for me to, and getting depressed at that revelation. Resolved to writing it out but was too lazy to fulfill it. All in all a pretty bad week, but I'm sure it's not the worst yet.